raya..? EXAM..!!

hari raya coming soon..
i still rememeber how i used to write greeting crads to all my frends..
but that was all during primary and secondary school..
and i realize since im in uni people dont write raya card that much anymore..
my frens would sent raya sms,testimonials to replace the old writing tradition..
those days.. (as tho im so old) i used to get about 30-40 raya cards every year..
but now.. id get about 50 raya smses per year..
see what technology has done to us.. hahaha..

for me..
i think id still prefer writing raya cards..
but i have problem in going to the post office..
so id usually wait till i meet the people i wanna give the raya card to..
and give it by hand..
but always id run out of words over wut i wanna say in the card..
so my words will be about 3 or 4 lines now..
but before i used to write till the cards are so full i cud hardly sign in the end..

puasa has been fine with me..
and i think ive develope the "malas nak sahur" habit..
i donno why.. but actually i know why..
but i cant disclose it here.. P&C..

classes were still like usual..
study..study...study..
exams coming to get ME..!
its so stressful.. since im not the day type of a person..
id prefer studying late at night.. especially from midnite till 7 in the morn..
too many times my dad wud tell me.. why not sleep early.. wake up the next day fresh and study.. i tried.. but still i cant..but my way is almost the same..instead waking up early and study..id wake up late and stay up..same thing.. just i do it at night instead of doing it in the day..

raya preperation.. NOTHING.
wearing the last year's one..
no casual shopping..
havent played bunga api..
seriously.. this is not the raya im having in mind.

ok.. im tired..
and i just remmeber i have some raya cards to write..!

bye..!

its ok... but till when..?

its true dat: there is nothing fair in this world..

but cant it atleast be almost fair..?

it seems that things are always fair for others..but things are never fair for me..
why do i take too much precautions so that i wont hurt people..?

its always been like that..i try so hard not to break a heart..

but instead im the one who gets dissapointed by people..if its broken by some guy.. an ex or something..

its diffrent..despite having 12 ex's..

i never once got my heart broken like how it is broken now..so frustrating..

perhaps.. "ull always hurt the one you love.."

dat maybe the right phrase..

but how come i try not hurting the one i love..

but im always hurt by the one i love and care for..?a confusing phrase i wud say..too much things.. running in my head now..

last friday during INT tutorials..Dr.Tang asked, "what wud u change or do if ur alive after 300 years?" or sumthing like dat..to his surprise..the answers he got was rather rubbish even some was quite good..

a guy wanted a tail..

2 gurls wanted to be psychic..and all other answers..

funny2 ones...

but when the floor was up to me..

i answerd..

after hearing my answer..he actually suggested me to go see the counselor..

why in the world wud he want me to do that..?

is it because of wut i said..?

my answer was.."if i was to be alive.. wut i would do or change is that..id rather be dead than to think or even do the changes.."

its silly i know..but that is what i want..hahahah.. silly..!silly..! silly!

i once ask someone...

why do poeple hurt us..?

and why do we just keep quiet about it and say its ok..

if its normal to be hurt by people..

why dont we return that "favour"and all she said was.."its ok feeza.."

why u dont return that favour is bcoz ur lucky..

ur lucky that u realize how u want to be treated in life..

so u treat people on how u want to be treated in return..
and its the strong love and care u have for people that keeps u going on saying.."

its ok..."

so. with that..i learned..the phrase "u hurt the one u love" is sumthing subjective..

aiyoooo..

when will all this be over..?

but there are things im looking foward to..
the buke puasa gath this friday..with everyone..
papa's return from penang.. on thursday..
hurmmm...

me and my plain ol' life..

TAK GUNA..!!!!

SEMUA ORANG DALAM RUMAH NIE DAH GILA..!!!!!!!!!
PENTING KAN DIRI SENDIRI..!!!
SEMUA TAU NAK LETAK KESALAHAN ATAS KEPALA ORANG LAIN..!!!

KENAPA LA AKU LAHIR SEBAGAI AKU..!!???

KALAU MAUT ITU BOLEH MENDAMAIKAN..!!!!
KENAPA MANUSIA MASIH DISEKSA DI DUNIA..!!!!!

YALLAH..!!!!!!!!
SEDARKAN LA SEMUA ORANG..!!!!

ramadhan..syawal..

hurmm...

ramadhan is finally here..
a month a way from syawal..
the best moment of the year..
duit raya visiting and all..

but as for the 3 years bck..
ive been having exams during raya..
raya is suppose to be a celebration
but instead it becomes a stressration..
is there even such word..?
gila merepek..

been sick..
due to my growing "wisdom tooth"
wise la sangat..!
makin merepek ada la..

over doing all assignments..
still got 1 more to go...

puasa has not been much of a fun this year..
sick grand ma, a busy dad, an on and off sick mothers..

dosent sound great huh..?

wud raya even be raya..?

too afraid to get the answer myself..

but ill be having another member to celebrate raya wif..
insyaallah..

happy ramadhan..